Aside

blunt


Guess i am getting blunt, rather harsh sometimes (well, at least for me). Can i blame people for this? Environment? Lol.
Maybe because i’m just tired, thinking that i always try to understand people (sometimes too much that makes me disgust myself) but they don’t understand me. I tried to give in so many times just because i want to keep someone by myside but then when i walk away, sadly, no one tried to run after me. But then, as i write all of this, doesn’t it means that i always hoping for return whenever i give someone something? That means i couldn’t be sincere all this time doing all the good deeds and that’s just more horrible than ignoring someone or being selfish and not wanting to listen or understand someone.
Sometimes i just think that i have the ugliest heart in the world. Lol. Drama queen, aren’t i? But true. guess my heart lately was mostly filled with jealousy. Seeing someone trying to persuade someone’s who’re being angry, looking at someone who support their loved one, i just couldn’t help it. Well, because mostly i’m the one who ended up giving in whenever fights happened and sometimes it just feels sucks. Like i am the only one begging to other people to stop fight. doesn’t it seems like i am the one pleading for the relationship? aw, that’s just poor. TT.TT
Ah, i hate this, starting blabbering and getting my mood down,lol. Maybe because recently i accidentally stumbled into my crush’s facebook profile and saw his wedding picture as his profile picture. Argh, that’s just urgh. Failing my mission to get married first before my crushes does.lol, creepy mission isn’t it? Kkk, it’s just because ulterior motive related with self proof, that i can be something without them (well, in this case, being someone’s wife.haha), but i guess it’s failed.haha.
Uh, now, the next post seems will likely telling about me and my crushes..haha.

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