Aside

Boyphobic[?]


*shivers* i am totally freaked out!! Seriously..
As usual, i was taking care of the store carrying my baby sister in my arms.. it was raining, and is, then there’s a guy(i think around 30 or 40) bought cigarettes and a cup of drink while using my store as shelter.. Then he suddenly ask about the baby in my arms, asking if the labour process went well.. Well, of course i explain that she’s actually my baby sister.. so, yeah we kinda talk about mom passed away, here and there.. What scared me the most, is he kept passing the boundary and went to the place where usually costumer shouldn’t enter, except if they had permission.. He even crouching / kneeling in front of me while talking.. And the gaze..totally scaring the hell out of me.. from the convo we had..he shows that sign of pity..but what i hate the most was when he spoke as if blaming the death of mom.. Well, maybe there are times i did that too, but it just feels wrong to hear it from stranger talking like that with mom.. To put it harshly, i think me and my fam who had the right to say something like that. And then the small convo continued, but the way he talk was just feels wrong for me.. He even asked me to guess the amount of money he was holding which is actually his earning for the day and showing it up in front eyes.. Last, the most terrifying thing when excuse himself bcoz the rain had stopped. At first he pinch my baby sister cheek.. But then.. Idk how, his hand ended up clutching my finger ring(right hand) and squeeze it in strange way.. I, of course trying to let go, but he held it still until few seconds, then he asked for handshake which is i reluctantly gave bcoz he insisted and stayed ground, disturbing my comfort zone (the space which i always have everytime i talk to people so i’ll feel comfortable enough) and then he left.

Crazy..
I found myself crying right after that..
Not because some strange feeling os mystical thing, but his behaviour totally freaked me out. Well, the clutching thing he done bug me actually, since i kind of reminded to those mystical stories where a guy did that kind of act, to charm a girl using mystical way and so then the girl won’t get married, unless with the guy who ‘clutched’ on his ring finger.. But what made me crying wasn’t that part. It was the way he treated me..
Maybe it’s just the way i responded that overreacted, but i just felt mistreated, i felt like molested, eventhough not literally.
You know i kinda have this ‘distance’ with guys(but i swear, i still like guy! Lol). I have this strange behaviour, where …..

to be continued…

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