my heart broken,, again.. LoL.
after the story about this long time crush who apparently got married before me(u know what, i really couldn’t understand, but yesterday night, i dreamt of him, he hurt me again and i ended up crying on my dream. tsk!)
But this time because a certain someone on twitter (oh, this sounds wrong already). I know he liked a certain girl since long time ago and had been rejected few times, blatantly or just using a gentle way.. Should i say that i have this special feeling for him too? Lol, so i kinda conflicted knowing about the rejection.. At one point i am happy because well, he still ‘available’ (oh…horrible i know) but on the other hand i felt bad for him too and want to console him, somehow. But then, after long time never get in touch with each other..i kinda visit his twitter today and there’s a part there, where it seems like he was bluntly saying out loud to the world that the girl was his saviour and yeah something along that line (except if he was still being that idiot delusionalist).. And boom, i thought i won’t feel anything since i already got over him but oh,well, it’s ouch still,kk. Somehow, i think that he knew about my feeling for a long time and he did two things, sometimes being ignorant to me and at the other time pretend that he didn’t know and treat me like his other friend. neither better than the other of course and it made me, again, conflicted. I hate him but i also couldn’t deny that i liked him..
Ah, but then nothing i can do.. There’s none of my crush story ended up well. And yeah.. I still on that point where i had crush on someone, not at that stage where i was trying to keep my relationship or thinking to develop it to the next stage. Maybe that’s why it called crush.. Because it crushed you..hahaha.
Anyway, i finally found out to why people tend to accept people who liked them even when they didn’t share the same feeling at first. Waiting is painful you know.. And along that time the feeling of wanting to be noticed by someone and feeling to be someone that loved and liked dearly by someone will just grow more and stronger.. And at one point they might’ve found out that love might possibly grow later toward them who loved them, so finally, yeah..why not?
And i actually suspect something with all of the circumtances.. Maybe “it’s” all because my real intention was somehow wrong ‘that’s why’.. Yeah.. Who wouldn’t suspect that? If you know that my real intention was to have someone that i can share burdens with(not happiness).. I mean..come on.. living in this century, is there really someone who’re willing to share badness?
Ah, right, one more question.. There’re a lot of people said man is the most clueless and dense creation in universe, but why there are a lot of people who also said guys will always know when someone had a crush on them. So, seriously, are guys that dense? Or just in some aspects? Lol, what the heck i am talking about? I guess i really need to sleep..